Taking a Bath

So, here I sit in my office making calls and getting business taken care of when I hear the bathroom door open and then close. So as I am getting up to see what the little man Drew is up to when I hear the bath tub turn on. I went to open the door and it was locked. I said "Drew what are you doing"? He said, " Uh mommy I'n takin a bass". I said, "Unlock the door please." He said, "Uh I tant mommy tus I not need your help." So I went and got the knife to open the door. Whne I got in the bathroom he looked at me with a sassy look and said, "Mom I taked a bass before, leave me alone peas, let me have a privitsey peas." I said, "Oh honey I know that you have taken a bath before but you do need help getting it started. Then he said, " I tan do it myself, I'n two you know." I couldn't help but laugh. I told him that he can not lock the door again. He said sorry and then I came in here to write this. so while I have been writting I have also been bossed around. Get this toy get that one. Finally I heard him said "otay I'n all done". So I got him out of the bath and went into his room to dry him off and lotion him up. I put the lotion on and put his training pants on, then I made the horrible mistake of getting his comfy sweat pants out of the drawer because what was underneath of them is just unspeakable. Just kidding. What was under them were his pj's that have spiders all over them. So here comes the girly scream, "AAAHHHH Spiders, mommy der is spiders in my drawer." So I took them out and reminded him that they were his pj's and he clung to me saying, "I no yike spiders mom, dey are dicusting, get it away." So I put them back in the drawer under the rest of his pj's and started to put his pants on. He said this to me......"Mom I can't believe you did dat to me cause you gived me a tartitak." I can only assume that he meant heart attack. I started laughing so hard. He said "I know mom I funny I know, why you yaugh yike that mom, cause I funny mom, I know." So after his shirt was on and I set him down because he was all dressed just before we left his room he turned to me and said, "mom tan I wear the spider pjs to bed tonight?" I said , "sure if that is what you want to wear." So for those of you who have had 2 year olds or do have them you understand why most of the day I am confused about what I am supposed to do and not supposed to do. Each day is a new adventure. Today is especially cute because he has a stuffy nose so everything that he says sounds even that more cute.
Have a great day.